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I think I just figured out how President Donald Trump is dealing with being the most unpopular president in any of our lifetimes, with polls consistently showing his approval ratings in free fall, as even Republican voters are beginning to see the light shining through the TACO. If his social media activity is any indication, Trump gets really upset when the numbers show that people in the U.S. don’t like him, world leaders don’t respect him, and most people think his second term has been even more dreadful than his first.

If Trump isn’t massaging his own comically fragile ego by rereading letters sent to him by White House aide Natalie Harp, he really should be — because that lady, well, is a fan.

Over the weekend, The Daily Beast published a number of letters Harp, 35, wrote to Trump, in which she talks to him more like a lover she’s desperately trying to hold on to than a president.

Wait, when I mentioned the word “lover,” did you barf in your mouth a little? You did, didn’t you? And you haven’t even seen the letters yet. Well, I hope your gag reflex isn’t too sensitive, because the contents of Harp’s letters are mushier than Trump’s mouth when he makes literally any vowel sound.

“You are all that matters to me. I don’t want to ever let you down. Thank you for being my Guardian and Protector in this Life,” Harp wrote to Trump in one of her letters. “No one knows or cares about me more. Thank you for always being there for me,” she wrote in another.

First of all, are we even sure Harp even wrote these, or did Sen. Tim Scott get ahold of her letterhead? Because…

Anyway, in one of Harp’s letters, she appears to be apologizing to the president for an incident that seems to reference a viral photo of her “sprinting across great distances” behind Trump across a golf course in Scotland, according to the New York Times.

Here’s video footage with commentary from another angle.

The apology itself was dramatic enough, but the second paragraph made Harp sound like she was writing it to a long-lost love.

“I want things to always be right between us,” she wrote. “I also know I’ve been distracted all week… I haven’t been myself, dwelling on the Past, and pain of losing my Dad, and I started letting the remarks of people who hadn’t bothered me before, get to me—not because I care what others think, but because I see myself being lowered in your eyes and good opinion. That is the fear you see, because I never want to bring you anything but joy.”

Bruh — you just know that in her mind, she had a fake British accent from Bridgerton. She writes like a 17th-Century poet who begins all intimate correspondence with, “I hope this letter finds you well…”

And, I mean, all the letters are like this.

“I miss the days when you’d call, during my Talk show days, and we’d talk about everything and nothing,” Harp, a former One America Network contributor, wrote in one excerpt. “I want to get back to that synergy. We shouldn’t have to talk about work all the time!!”

At this point, I just know everyone who ever had a crush on Harp is reading these letters with the same energy that Quick had when he was wondering what Dominique La Rue was doing with her boss-boyfriend, Bugsy Calhoun.

According to the New York Times, Harp “was revealed last week to be one of the lucky few who joined the president inside an airplane catering container to be whisked out of Turkey under threat of attack by Iran.” Apparently, she’s not just one of his loyalists; she’s his comfort cultist.

Of course, all of this has led to rumors and speculation that Trump and Harp have been having a sordid romantic affair, and…

Oh yeah, I just gagged a little.

OK, I’m done.

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