Somehow, people of the most dominant and powerful racial group in America have gotten it into their heads that they are an oppressed minority. It’s weird. White conservatives’ “Great Replacement Theory” be damned, in 2022, white people represented more than 70% of the population, according to the U.S. Census. They also represent at least 77% of Congress and the majority in every single state legislature regardless of the state’s population. They still dominate the highest positions in law enforcement and all three branches of the U.S. government. As much as they bemoan about diversity in entertainment and unbridled “wokeness,” they’re still disproportionately represented in TV, film and broadcasting.

My thing is, if white people are oppressed, who’s doing the oppression?

Take Josh Schoemann, the county executive for Washington County, Wisconsin. During a board meeting last week, Schoemann complained that he isn’t being taken seriously by state officials who “laughed at” him for seeking a grant to replace lead pipes still in use in West Bend and other areas in the county, according to the Washington County Daily News. Now, normally, Schoemann’s gripe with the grant gatekeepers of his state would be understandable. What kind of evil state representative doesn’t want to replace lead pipes for their citizens? The problem is why Schoemann believes he’s being treated unfairly.

“We vote too red, we are too white and we are too green, meaning we vote too red, our skin is too white and we have too much green in our pockets,” Schoemann said. “We will not qualify for a nickel of that. It’s an embarrassing fact that apparently, the kids in Washington County matter less somehow than the kids in every other place that have lead laterals.”

First of all, let’s just say for the sake of argument that Josh Schoemann is at least correct about the “too green” part. So what? It sounds like he’s complaining that his county is too rich to qualify for grants meant for under-resourced parts of the state, and for that, there really isn’t a violin small enough. I’d laugh at him too.

In fact, according to Becky Scott, the grant department’s loan section manager, Washington County’s wealth is exactly why it doesn’t qualify.

But let’s get back to the real knee-slapper: Josh Schoemann thinks he and those he represents are being treated unfairly because they’re white—in Wisconsin.

Guys, as of last year, Wisconsin is 86.6% white.

Wisconsin is so white it’s known as “The Cheese State” because it’s the largest producer of white people’s favorite delicacy, according to every film or TV show about upper-crust Caucasian society ever.

Wisconsin is so white it’s also known as “The Badger State.” Black people, when is the last time you’ve ever even seen a badger? I can confidently say that I’ve never in my life heard a Black person tell a wild story about his encounter with a badger, let alone enough badgers to inspire a nickname for their home.

Anti-whiteness in Wisconsin would be like if there was a tomato farm that was anti-salsa. What are we even talking about here?

Anyway, the Germantown Community Coalition (GCC) and Just Us of Washington County (JUWC) issued a joint statement Wednesday denouncing Schoemann’s white grievance bloviating and inviting him to a white fragility rehab meeting, or whatever.

“We call on Mr. Schoemann to do better,” the statement read. “As County Executive of Washington County, we believe Mr. Schoemann should represent all people of Washington County without bias. He can begin to repair the damage caused by his comments by issuing an apology and agreeing to attend the upcoming Unconscious Bias workshop with Derek Mosley being held in Germantown on November 13. We welcome him, his staff, and others with similar views to join us in learning and reflecting on ways in which learned stereotypes show up in our daily lives and how we can mitigate those biases.”

It’s worth pointing out that these are the same white and “red” conservatives who constantly accuse Black people of “playing the race card.”

Go figure.

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