‘That Always Drove Me Crazy’: JFK’s Niece Maria Shriver Rejects the ‘Kennedy Women’ Narrative Years After Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Affair with Nanny”
Maria Shriver, niece of John F. Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy, sat down with her longtime friend Oprah Winfrey on “The Oprah Podcast,” to unpack the heartbreak that upended her life.
Ahead of the April release of her memoir, Shriver opened up about her ex-husband Arnold Schwarzenegger and his affair with their family’s longtime housekeeper — who continued working in their home while secretly carrying the actor’s child.
The revelation not only shattered their 25-year marriage but also forced Shriver to confront the betrayal that unfolded right under her roof.
“I really wanted to pick myself up. It’s still an emotional thing for me,” Shriver confided to Winfrey, her voice carrying the weight of a betrayal that played out on the global stage.
Adding, “I wanted to pick myself up. I wanted to be more open. I wanted to come out from behind whatever padded door I was living behind.”
In Shriver’s memoir, “I Am Maria: My Reflections and Poems on Heartbreak, Healing, and Finding Your Way Home,” out now, she describes how Schwarzenegger’s confession about fathering a child with their housekeeper, Mildred Patricia Baena, devastated her world in 2011.
During her conversation with Winfrey, Shriver disclosed that her healing path involved consulting “various therapists, healers, shamans, and psychics,” and even included a visit to a cloistered convent.
In the book, she talks about being at a convent when a nun named Mother Dolores who offered a perspective that resonated deeply: “I think what you’re really looking for, my child, is permission to leave your marriage to be Maria.”
The OWN founder asked Shriver to read a poem titled “The Public Square” from her book that addresses the “whispers” and judgments she faced when the news of the affair broke.
“I heard the whispers, ‘Could she not have known? Not have seen? She must have. She couldn’t have not. Poor her. Poor them.’ I could feel the stares of pity, of scorn.”
Shriver’s healing journey was complicated by public perceptions about how she should handle the betrayal as a “Kennedy woman,” a group of women known because of their husbands’ public affairs and their sticking by their men.
“This idea of quote ‘the Kennedy women’ – Kennedy women are strong, Kennedy women keep the family together,” Shriver explained to Winfrey. “That always drove me crazy to be referred to that way because it wasn’t true. And I considered myself, and consider myself, a strong woman. Kennedy women — first of all, I’m a Shriver. I’m Maria.”
JFK was rumored to have romances with multiple women including model and actress Marilyn Monroe. His wife, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, reportedly had knowledge of JFK’s relationships with other women, and that they would likely never end,” according to the book “The Coming of Age of Jackie Bouvier Kennedy,” written by author and researcher, Carl Anthony. However, Onassis never spoke about his behavior or how she stayed married through it as a politician’s wife.
Shriver is the daughter of Eunice Kennedy Shriver and 1972 Democratic nominee for the U.S. vice presidency, Sargent Shriver.
But forgiveness was crucial to Shriver’s healing process. The former wife of the Governor of California shared with Winfrey three powerful lines from her book: “If I forgive me, I can forgive him. I can forgive her. And so it is, all forgiven. We are all free to go.”
This perspective came after significant inner work, guided by advice that before forgiving others, she needed to examine how hard she had been on herself.
Despite the public humiliation, Shriver made a conscious decision to maintain a positive relationship with Schwarzenegger for the sake of their children: Katherine, 35, Christina, 33, Patrick, 31, and Christopher, 27.
“I think Arnold and I have a great relationship now and I think there will always be a love there,” Shriver told Winfrey. “He’s the father of my children. We’re grandparents together. And I don’t want to have hate. I don’t want to have anger in my body towards another person.”
This commitment to amicable co-parenting was driven by Shriver’s desire to protect her children from additional trauma and her growth throughout the process.
“I didn’t want my kids to have separate birthday parties. I didn’t want them to stress about when they were going to get married, stress about when they would have a child,” she explained. “I didn’t want what happened between their dad and me to ruin their lives.”
Winfrey recalled Shriver’s extraordinary friendship, noting how she attended the final taping of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” in Chicago on the very day news of Schwarzenegger’s affair was breaking publicly. “I have never seen a friend like you, because on the night that you knew that that was going to be going public, you came and you showed up for me.”
Shriver responded saying, “I wanted to be there for you ’cause you had been there for me and you are one of my best friends in the world… Showing up in my life for people that I love is a big thing for me.”
Through therapy, healing, poetry, and support from friends like Winfrey, Shriver has reclaimed her identity. Her journey of resilience and self-discovery led to liberation from betrayal and expectations. With her memoir, she hopes to offer solace to anyone struggling to navigate heartbreak and find their way forward.