This guy might be hard to beat.

The news of a candidate in Arizona being busted for masturbating in his car near a school despite his sworn dedication to protecting children is the latest in a series of glaring examples of Republican hypocrisy during this wild and crazy 2022 midterm elections cycle.

It was in that context that Randy Kaufman was arrested earlier this month for what the Maricopa Community Colleges Police Department described as “public sexual indecency.” However, a closer look at the police report reveals the exact nature of that “public sexual indecency” is much more commonly known as masturbating.

Kaufman, a Republican on the ballot for the Maricopa Community College District Governing Board, was sitting in his Ford pickup truck on Oct. 4 “looking at a cell phone in one hand” and “showing his full erect nude penis,” according to the police report that reads more like a Danielle Steel novel.

There were “several preschool children” in a school playground about 190 feet away and in plain view, the police report added.

Likely recognizing the severity of the situation, Kaufman told the cops he “fucked up” and only felt the need to be so, ahem, hands-on because he was “stressed,” according to the police report.

HuffPost reported that Kaufman said in a Facebook post that he wanted “our children protected [from] the progressive left.”

AZ Central reported that Kaufman has suspended his candidacy. However, with just weeks before Election Day, his name will remain on the ballot, elections officials said.

2022 midterm election Republican hypocrisy

Kaufman and his hypocrisy follow in the footsteps of a number of his fellow Republicans seeking election this year whose political stances don’t match how they appear to personally feel.

Of course, it’s hard to ignore Herschel Walker, whose secret children were revealed despite the candidate roundly criticizing absentee fatherhood while knowingly fathering two babies out of wedlock with different women. The purportedly “pro-life” U.S. Senate candidate in Georgia also not only urged but also paid for an ex-girlfriend to have an abortion.

In fact, abortion is a major issue in which multiple Republicans have found themselves being exposed for hypocrisy, including the notorious Colorado Congresswoman Lauren Boebert.

Another thing these hypocritical Republicans have in common is their unbreakable allegiance to Donald Trump.

Lest we forget Trump — the so-called “law and order president” — has been accused of stealing federal property by removing presidential records from the White House and taking it to his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida. Trump was the one who was screaming “lock her up” the loudest when he accused Hillary Clinton in an email scandal.

Now, as Trump stands accused, the same Republicans who yelled “lock her up” alongside Trump have failed to keep the same energy around the former president.

“The hypocrisy of folks in my party that spent years chanting, ‘Lock her up,’ about Hillary Clinton because of some deleted emails or – quote/unquote – ‘wiping a server’, are now out there defending a man who very clearly did not take the national security of the United States to heart,” Republican Illinois Congressman Adam Kinzinger said in August.

Aside from candidates, conservative U.S. Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas (and likely Trump supporter like his wife) in May made no effort to hide his hypocrisy while responding to the leak of the draft opinion in the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization before Roe v. Wade was ultimately overturned.

At the time, Thomas said people “are becoming addicted to wanting particular outcomes, not living with the outcomes we don’t like.” He continued: “We can’t be an institution that can be bullied into giving you just the outcomes you want. The events from earlier this week are a symptom of that.”

Of course, if Thomas wants people to accept outcomes, he needs to start at home with his wife, whose support for efforts to undermine the legitimate transfer of power between Trump and the incoming Biden administration has been well documented.

This is America.

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