Do y’all remember when former First Lady Michelle Obama hit us with that famous line, “When they go low, we go high?”

So many people reacted like she was reading from the Gospel of Turntheothercheekians: “And lo, resisteth not the urge to read a fool for filth.  Thou shalt not clap back, lest ye be dragged into the pit of foolishness and covfefe.  Blessed is the unbothered.’”

Liberals swooned like Obama had personally baptized them in the holy waters of civility, and they acted like she was out in these streets floating on a cloud of moral superiority like the Patron Saint of the High Road. That iconic line became a whole mantra, a rallying cry, a bumper sticker philosophy for handling nonsense with dignity.

MORE: ‘Big Mistake’: Trump Seemingly Threatens ‘Nasty’ Michelle Obama For Telling The Truth About Him

Welp, fast forward to just a few days before Donald Trump’s dystopian, Book of Revelations-season-finale, Hunger Games-ass inauguration, and guess what?  Sis took the highest road possible—straight up outta there!

Because sometimes “going high” means staying home, sipping tea and letting the clowns have their circus without you in the audience.

Michelle Obama is right not to pretend this is business as usual.

For those of you who somehow missed it—maybe you were busy hoarding canned goods, reinforcing your sanity bunker, panic-knitting an emotional support scarf, triple-checking your passport expiration date, or pre-loading your “I told y’all” social media posts like doomsday prep for the impending rise of the Fourth Reich—Michelle Obama made it loud and clear that she will not be attending Trump’s inauguration.

And why should she?

Because tradition?

Decorum and respect?

Unity?

Patriotism?

The sacred, centuries-old American ritual of pretending convicted felons are legitimate heads of state?

Or perhaps, the deeply held belief that no matter how unhinged, dangerous, or morally bankrupt a president is, a former first lady must smile through gritted teeth, nod like she’s trying to keep a bad wig from slipping, and clap with the dead-eyed enthusiasm of a hostage blinking in Morse code—all while pretending the country isn’t rapidly descending into authoritarian chaos?

Should she slip into a pastel-colored dress, clasp her pearls like an overqualified debutante at a racist country club, and nod along like a Stepford First Lady—all in the name of civility?  Should she grin and bear it for the same people who spent eight years questioning her husband’s citizenship, mocking her features, peddling racist gorilla memes and foaming at the mouth like a demon at a full-throttle Pentecostal exorcism every time she had the sheer audacity to flex her toned arms in a sleeveless dress?

Some things are beneath dignity—and Trump’s America is one of them.

Should she curl her hair, “beat her face” and waltz in like this is just another peaceful transfer of power—all while a convicted felon, a sexual predator and the guy who turned the U.S. Capitol into a DIY coup attempt takes the oath of office… again?  Should she smile through the national embarrassment and nod along like she’s at a bad PTA meeting?

Why should Michelle Obama participate in this highly produced cosplay of American democracy, where the leading man built his entire political career on stoking white grievance, screaming about “rigged elections” and promising mass deportations like a wannabe 21st-century Andrew Jackson? Why should she dignify an inauguration where the guy getting sworn in literally ran on the promise to pardon the people who smeared their own feces on the Capitol walls on January 6th, built a guillotine, constructed a gallows and tried to hang the vice president?

What does it say about all those people who will be standing on that platform and in the crowds?

Yet, predictably, the usual suspects are in a full meltdown, shrieking that Michelle is “petty,” “classless” and “disrespecting tradition.” You know, the same folks who have spent the last eight years clapping like trained seals while Trump shattered every norm of decency, torched democratic institutions and treated the presidency like a personal grift machine.

Take Megyn Kelly, who never met a Black woman she couldn’t condescend to, smugly sneering. “No one wants to see you. You’re right.  You shouldn’t come,” Kelly told Sky News host Paul Murray. “Not only does she hate Trump, she doesn’t think much of America. So she can sit this one out.”  Oh, so now loving America means showing up for convicted felons?

Meanwhile, Kid Rock, America’s favorite middle-aged human embodiment of a Monster Energy drink spilled on a Confederate flag, weighed in with the deeply insightful, “She seems a little angry.” Wow. A white man accusing a Black woman of being “angry”—we’ve never seen that before.

And, of course, Trump’s team is reportedly “having a good laugh” over Michelle skipping the event. Which makes sense. They also laughed when he mocked a disabled reporter, laughed when he called fallen soldiers “suckers” and laughed when he suggested injecting bleach to cure COVID-19. If there’s one thing MAGA loves, it’s laughing through their missing teeth while torching the country like an overcooked Freedom Fry.

Michelle Obama is right not to pretend this is business as usual. She is right not to extend any kind of grace to a man who built his MAGA movement on disrespecting her and putting her family in danger. By not showing up on January 20th, Obama is refusing to lend legitimacy to a spectacle of hypocrisy. She is letting the world know that she is not normalizing this because some things are beneath dignity—and Trump’s America is one of them.

But there’s a more fundamental question, y’all: What does it say about all those people who will be standing on that platform and in the crowds?

There are many political figures who are kissing the ring and normalizing Trump’s return to power: former presidents, Supreme Court justices, members of Congress, tech giants and billionaires. How much are these leaders willing to overlook in the name of tradition?

By attending, they are signaling that, despite everything, Trump still belongs in the pantheon of legitimate American presidents. This isn’t just about peaceful transitions—it’s about whitewashing a presidency (and now, a second term) that was built on authoritarianism, racism and unapologetic criminality. Their presence lends credibility to a leader who called for political violence, tried to overturn an election and has openly said he wants to rule like a dictator “on day one.”

Sometimes “going high” means staying home, sipping tea and letting the clowns have their circus without you in the audience.

For Democrats who attend, it begs the question: If Trump is the existential threat to democracy that you claim he is, then why are you standing there, smiling for the cameras? And for Republicans who once distanced themselves from Trump, but now re-embrace him, it shows the cowardice of a party that has fully surrendered to his cult of personality.

Oh, and I’m side-eyeing Barack for taking the “high road” that leads straight to nowhere. This was the perfect moment for him to take a stand alongside his wife, and instead, he’s opting for the route of tradition and civility and playing the role of the respectable statesman. It’s giving respectability politics over righteous refusal.

In the end, Michelle Obama’s decision makes everyone else’s attendance look worse by comparison. While she refuses to co-sign this farce, many of America’s most powerful political figures are lining up to do just that. Her absence is a principled decision. Their presence is complicity.

The real question isn’t why Michelle Obama won’t attend Trump’s inauguration. The real question is: Why are so many people still willing to stand next to him?

Dr. Stacey Patton is an award-winning journalist and the author of Spare the Kids: Why Whupping Children Won’t Save Black America.

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