‘I’m Tired of Going Through Stuff’: Mary J. Blige Opens Up About Healing After Divorce — And the ‘Alimony’ Regret She Can’t Shake
Mary J. Blige is finally in her “Gratitude” era, with music marking a lighter chapter in life after three decades of singing about personal and romantic hardships.
Her journey to happiness is documented across 15 albums featuring titles like “What’s the 411?” and “My Life.” At the climax of her career, the Queen of Hip-Hop Soul was celebrated by the masses; all the while, her marriage to former manager Martin “Kendu” Isaacs was falling apart.
The former pair were married from 2003 to 2018. She filed for divorce in 2016, citing irreconcilable differences. In the documents, Blige requested that Isaacs be denied spousal support.
In 2017, she told Variety, “I thought someone loved me, right? Turns out, he was a con artist and he didn’t, and now he’s coming after me for all my money… There was someone else that was his queen. I got played. I got suckered.” The alleged other woman is believed to have been Blige’s protégée, singer Starshell.
The songstress was ordered in 2017 to pay $30,000 per month in temporary support, an obligation that ended when their split was final. The divorce was finalized days before Blige attended the 2018 Oscars as a Best Supporting Actress nominee for her performance in “Mudbound.”
Like Blige, female celebrities such as Halle Berry, Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, and Janet Jackson have all made payments to an ex. Berry also pays ex Oliver Martinez child support for their son, Maceo. The duo was married for two years.
In a new interview for Scott Evans’ YouTube show “House Guest,” the Grammy Award winner reflected on the failed relationship. Blige admitted that paying spousal support left her feeling like an “angry Black woman.” She explained, “I didn’t want to pay it, but I know that they were taking everything or lock me up or something like that.”
A friend going through a similar situation advised her to obey court orders. They told Blige, “‘Give him everything to set yourself free.’” At first, the entertainer resented the outcome. “I was still like, ‘F–k that! I don’t wanna pay.’ … But I did everything the right way, and everything flipped in my favor, and after a while I didn’t have to pay anything,” she recalled.
Viewers commented, “His energy always seemed wack and his actions after the divorce solidified that. I’m sooo happy that she was able to close that chapter,” and “No one wants to hear this bs….. men have to pay after divorce all the time.” A third person wrote, “She just gives PEACE.”
Blige also explained her 2005 album “The Breakthrough” wasn’t the soundtrack to a happy life like fans imagined. “I was in f–king — a s–t storm,” she told Evans. “No More Drama,” a track on her 2001 album of the same name, includes haunting lyrics like “Broken heart again/ Another lesson learned/ Better know your friends/ Or else you will get burnt.”
Blige dropped to her knees, then fell to her back during an emotional performance on the record during the 2023 Super Bowl halftime show. Viewers assuming she channeled the divorce fallout on stage would be wrong, because she has healed from the turmoil.
She began singing the song from “a world perspective” between 2018 and 2020. She cites the COVID-19 pandemic as a second impetus.
“Automatically, I got a whole ’nother reason to sing ‘No More Drama’ the way I did,” Blige explained. “The fallout was for me before — the fallout was like, ‘Oh, I’m tired of going through sh-t.’ The fallout was for people that was sitting in the house… and everything that we’re dealing with.”
“This song is demanding that you stay away from my life if you’re going to bring me drama,” she told Jet magazine about the anthem. “The bottom line is people will always fail you, so that’s why I say, ‘I got to count on me because I can guarantee that I’ll be fine.’”
The superstar is currently preparing to begin her Vegas residency, “My Life, My Story.” She will perform five shows in both May and June.