Gabrielle Union Hits Back After Being Shamed for Years About Surrogacy Decision—Now She Admits She Wasn’t Ready and Had to Hire Her Sister as Full-Time Nanny
Gabrielle Union is one fierce mama who has never shied away from discussions about her marriage and children.The actress has been married to former NBA star Dwyane Wade for nearly 11 years and became stepmother to Zaire, 23, Dahveon, 21, Zaya, 17, whom Wade had with his ex-wife, Siohvaughn Funches, and 11-year-old Xavier whom he welcomed with Aja Metoyer when he and Union were on a break in their relationship.
Union dreamed of being a mother herself and giving birth to her own child. But had some unexpected struggles with fertility after multiple attempts at getting pregnant and she and Wade resulted in getting a surrogate to have their daughter Kaavia Wade, who is now 6. The decision wasn’t easy for her knowing that her body couldn’t produce a child, and it didn’t make it any better that fans were putting her down after learning about it.
In a Marie Claire interview, the “Being Mary Jane” star talked about the backlash after her daughter was born via surrogate and also opened up about the help she received due to not being prepared when she expanded her family.
On Nov. 8, 2018, Union surprised her followers with the arrival of Kaavia by sharing three photos of her and Wade holding her in a hospital bed. The 52-year-old was wearing a hospital gown performing skin to skin with her child. Buried in the thousands of supportive comments were negative ones criticizing her.
For example, one person said, “Why are you in a hospital bed? Lol maybe you need your mental state checked! That isn’t normal.”
Someone else wrote, “Why are you in a hospital gown exhausted if you didn’t give birth?? That’s so wrong!”
Reflecting on this, Union said she thinks she was met with those reactions, “Because it’s different and because every single person’s surrogacy journey is different. It’s like any time there’s any kind of variance in the experience, it’s, See, I told you. You shouldn’t explore this option to expand your family.”
And while she was able to provide a response to the unfavorable feedback, she has no problem standing up for herself. To those critics she has a “Bring It On”-esque response.
She said, “First of all, nobody has the balls to say that sh-t to my face, so I don’t say sh-t because nobody’s said sh-t. But also I think I lead with an I don’t give a f-ck attitude. If I had the ability to do this myself, I would’ve. Your baby’s here and your baby’s awesome. My baby’s here and my baby’s awesome.”
When it comes to any sort of criticism behind their parenting or family, Union said, “The commentary is the fear personified. If I can be your punching bag, swing away. These are phantom punches. They’re not landing when you’ve been in therapy as long as I have. You recognize hurt people try to hurt people. You tried it, but it doesn’t land.”
In her 2023 memoir, “You Got Anything Stronger?” Union candidly shared with fans that she had “eight or nine miscarriages” before looking to surrogacy as an option. And while she is grateful to have her daughter here, she still struggles with the idea that her body couldn’t carry a child.
“I’ll never have peace with it, ever. And that’s not a what-anybody-has-to-say thing; that’s just—my yearning has never dissipated,” she said. “But for me, it felt like failure. My body failed. It just felt like such a f-cking public humiliation. Surrogacy felt like a cuckold; watching somebody do something I can’t do. To be there for somebody else succeeding where I failed—it is a mind f-ck for people who have had my journey and who feel similarly.”
When Kaavia finally arrived she quickly became a social media meme with her signature glaring and unimpressed facial expressions. At just a few months old, Union and Wade dubbed her the Shady Baby, and the internet ran with the title. Her presence brought much excitement and joy to the Wade household, but “The Perfect Find” star soon realized that she wasn’t as ready to have a child as she expected and needed the extra help. Thankfully her sister, Tracy Union, jumped at the opportunity to be a helping hand.
“My little sister lives with us and has for the last five years,” Union said. “A year in I was like, not only do I not have it, the little bit that I thought I had, I’m woefully unprepared and I need help. I need help that knows how I was raised, that has the same belief systems; that’s my sister.”