Model Alyssa Scott shared a public message chronicling her grief since the loss of her infant son, Zen, the child she had with talk show host Nick Cannon. 

On Instagram Sunday, Scott wrote, “I can imagine us the night before Valentine’s Day filling out cards to hand to your classmates.” The caption was beneath two photos and a video clip of her late son covered in red lipstick kisses. “All signed with your handwriting.. I know it would say: love, Zen. Every letter written with your tiny little hand.”

Nick Cannon (left) revealed in December that his son with Alyssa Scott (right) had succumbed to brain cancer. Scott wrote about Zen, their late son, on Instagram Sunday. (Photo: Screenshot/Instagram)

She added, “I often think about your voice. The sound of you saying ‘I love you mom’ Words I will never hear, But still feel to this day. I know you love me, Zen,” she continued. “You are everywhere. I see you in everything beautiful. When I hear a baby giggle, when I see children playing. You are there.”

The model noted that if she could have “one wish” it would be to hold Zen again, writing, “I know everything around me would stand still. It would be just you and me.”

“My last words to you were ‘I’m here, I love you.’ That will ring true until the end of time,” she concluded. “I’m here and I love you baby. Im just missing you extra today. My son. You are all of my dreams realized.”

Zen Cannon died at only 5 months old of a high-grade glioma, a rare and aggressive form of brain cancer, according to PEOPLE. Dr. Joffre E. Olaya, who treated him, said last year “these tumors can grow and spread quickly,” adding, “they are very difficult to treat.”

Cannon announced Zen’s death in December on his eponymous talk show, where he said he and Scott chose not to pursue invasive procedures on Zen due to his bleak prognosis. Instead, the family decided to focus on keeping their son “as happy as he could possibly be.” 

“We were having quality-of-life conversations,” he said. “We could have had that existence where he would’ve had to live in the hospital, hooked up to machines, for the rest of the time. From someone who’s had to deal with chemotherapy before, I know that pain. To see that happen to a 2-month-old, I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him to suffer.”

During his last days, Cannon and Scott took Zen to the beach, where they watched the sunrise. 

Last December, Scott penned a heart-wrenching tribute to the infant, writing, “Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here. I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come. The silence is deafening.”

Zen was Scott’s second child and Cannon’s seventh. He is currently expecting his eighth child, a boy, with model Bre Tiesi. 

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