‘I Beg Your Damn Pardon Passta?’: Churchgoers Outraged as Pastor John Gray Makes Bedroom Confession About Wife
Pastor John Gray raised more than a few eyebrows with his recent appearance on the “Dear Future Wifey” podcast, where he shared some surprisingly intimate details about his marriage.
The special fifth anniversary episode, hosted by Laterras R. Whitfield at Love Story Church in Greenville, South Carolina, brought together a roster of guests to chat about love and relationships, including Pastor Gray and Aventer Gray, actors KJ Smith and Skyh Black, artist David Banner, and relationship experts Tiara Walton, Arian Simone, and Dr. Rick Applewhite.
The celebration brought together these influential voices to explore topics of love, healing, and faith through personal stories and reflections on how their understanding of relationships has evolved over the years.
The episode included heartfelt letters to future spouses, surprise guest appearances, and a tribute to memorable moments that have shaped the podcast’s legacy of vulnerability, restoration, and hope for love.
It also afforded controversial pastor John Gray airtime to talk about his life, career and his relationship.
At one point, Gray laid it all on the table.
“I did wrong. I sinned against the marriage. But more than that I sinned against my own upbringing. I sinned against my own vows, my own personal moral code,” Gray confessed during the podcast. “I was raised by Black women who were hurt by Black men and I became the thing I hated.”
The preacher continued his emotional revelation, sharing hopes for his son’s future.
“My son will be a better man than me. He will be whole. He will be free. He will be a faithful husband that will not be unfaithful in his marriage verbally or sexually,” he declared before turning attention to his wife with a statement that would soon ignite social media.
Its_Onsite’s Instagram posted the clip where he said, “This woman is the only woman I’ve been inside of. And when I’m thirsty. I drink her. I stopped tasting things that didn’t belong to me.”
The pastor went on to acknowledge his ongoing internal struggles, stating that there’s “always going to be a base nature” that he must continue to fight, describing it as a part of himself that won’t disappear.
Gray later explained this “base nature” was a “survival tactic” he developed as a child, which he’s now learning to control through counseling.
Its_Onsite followers weighed in on Gray’s intimate declaration.
“Excuse me, I beg your damn pardon passta? Things we didn’t need to know…THIS!!!” wrote one shocked commenter.
Another admitted, “I have second hand embarrassment,” while a third felt the pastor “should have been rebuked immediately.”
Some defended Gray, with one follower noting, “Yall have to understand Pastor are Real humans that have some of the same thought you do.”
Another simply commented, “Whewww bless it Lord cause I can’t judge!!”
Gray, who rose to prominence as an associate pastor at Joel Osteen’s Lakewood Church in Houston, has maintained a significant public profile through his television appearances on the OWN network reality show “The Book of John Gray” and his role as lead pastor of Relentless Church in Greenville since 2018.
His candid discussions on faith, masculinity, and mental wellness across various media platforms have positioned him as a relatable voice to some in both religious and cultural spaces.
While he has many accolades, this isn’t the first time Gray has faced public scrutiny.
In March 2019, he addressed allegations of infidelity, admitting to an “emotional affair” while denying any physical involvement.
“I did not sleep with anyone. There’s no baby, none of that,” he stated during a sermon at Relentless Church, though many expressed skepticism online.
The situation intensified when a friend of Gray’s allegedly threatened journalists at The Greenville News for reporting on the scandal, saying, “I cut people.”
Gray later distanced himself from these threats, stating he didn’t condone intimidation and that the individual had no official role at his church.
In July 2022, Gray faced a health crisis when he was hospitalized with a life-threatening pulmonary embolism and multiple blood clots.
Initially treated in an Alabama ICU before being transferred to Atlanta, the serious health scare prompted his wife, Aventer, to request prayers from followers while declaring, “No premature death,” and generated substantial support from fans and fellow faith leaders.
Pastor John Gray and his wife have clearly been through the fire — and lived to describe it. On the podcast, they kept it real, sharing their truth with raw honesty. He’s still got that fire like Jeremiah shut up in his bones—not just for the Lord, but for his wife. While critics bristled at one of his bold remarks, Aventer didn’t blink. Smiling softly, she stood firm—unshaken and loyal—still right there beside him.