‘So She Has to Suffer First Before He Realizes?’: Ex-NFL Star Devin Still Sparks Heated Debate Over Whether a Man Will Change His Ways for the Right Woman
Former NFL player Devon Still, who became a household name when he shared his young daughter Leah’s cancer journey in 2014, is now making headlines for a very different reason.
Still and his wife Asha host the “REALationship” podcast. During a recent episode of the podcast, the couple tackled the often debated hot topic of whether a man will change if the “right” woman comes into his life.
“A lot of times we hear on social media that a man will change for the right woman. And I don’t believe that,” said the former Cincinnati Bengals defensive end. “I feel like a lot of good women get done wrong because us, as men, don’t deal with the trauma from our childhood. We don’t deal with the trauma from our past relationships. We don’t outgrow the mindset that was instilled in us or a majority of us when we were younger.”
In the video clip posted to the podcast’s Instagram account on May 14, he went on to say, “A man will change when he’s ready to become a good man.”
He then turned to his wife Asha, whom he married in 2016, and said, “Even when I look at our relationship, you have always been the right woman. You have always been a good woman. But in the beginning, I was by my immaturity that I couldn’t see everything that you brought to the table. And it wasn’t until I was ready to become a better man until I was ready to change my way of thinking, that I saw you for the woman that you are.”
Devon and Asha’s road to marriage was a rather complicated one. The couple met in 2012 and got engaged in 2014. They eventually tied the knot in May 2016 in New York after putting their wedding on hold for two years upon learning Devon’s 4-year-old daughter, Leah Still, had been diagnosed with Stage 4 neuroblastoma cancer. Leah’s pediatric cancer journey quickly captured America’s attention and pulled at the heartstrings of millions.
However, the drama involving Devon and Leah’s mother, Channing Smythe, also caught the public’s attention. Still and his then-longtime girlfriend Smythe split shortly after Leah’s birth in 2010, and according to Smythe, Leah’s cancer treatments quickly became costly. While Still would share Leah’s health updates on social media as she underwent chemotherapy and surgery, sometimes showing him lying next to her in her hospital bed, Smythe says her ex was months behind on their agreed-upon child support, leaving her with bills insurance didn’t cover, borrowing cars to take Leah to doctor’s appointments, and on the brink of homelessness.
“I don’t consider him a deadbeat dad. I know he loves and cares for his daughter, and he is there for her. I just need him to help me financially,” Smythe told Daily News at the time.
In January 2015, the former couple finally put their differences aside and reached a financial agreement. In March of that year, Leah went into remission. The following year, Leah was the flower girl in her dad’s wedding to Asha.
“I wanted her to be able to walk down the aisle as a healthy child without still battling cancer, and now that she beat cancer … it was the perfect way to start it off getting married,” Still told “Good Morning America.”
While the details of what caused Still and Smythe’s personal relationship to dissolve are unknown, the former defensive lineman said that once he realized he needed to change, he saw Asha “for the woman” she is.
Still’s remarks sparked wide-ranging reactions across social media.
“No, a man will change for himself, and the right woman will benefit from it,” one person commented.
Another person wrote, “What hurts the most is when that man fumbles you and decides to be better, and the next woman benefits from it.”
“So that means this girl is around having to tolerate him not being changed just for him to decide if she’s the one he wants to change for. So she has to suffer first, before he realizes, oh she’s the one I should change?” a social media user commented on Instagram.
Before the clip concluded, Devon Still shared, “So it’s not that men will change for the right woman is when a man is ready to become the right man, then he will make the changes. Because there are a lot of men who missed out on good women because they wasn’t mature enough to recognize what that woman brought to the table.”
Devon retired from the NFL in 2017 and went back to school to earn his master’s degree in psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. He’s now an author and offers couples therapy. He and Asha have two daughters of their own, and Leah is now nine years cancer-free as of March 2024.